I will meet you there.

A Change Is As Good As A Rest” as the saying goes and yet most people are fearful of change or being in a new environment or circumstance. It takes real courage to step out of the dominant culture – questioning its norms and values – and voice your concern that perhaps the old ways of doing something could be wrong or even harmful. For most people it is frightening to question other people’s dearly held assumptions and core beliefs.

I'll meet you there

Most people live lives of quiet desperation. Occasionally intuition/fate/life shakes the world in which we live, causing us to take immediate drastic action. Logic takes the passenger seat and the heart begins to steer your life in a weird and jumpy new direction – a direction in which you would never normally go. Everyone around you stops, stares, points and questions your motives. It’s almost impossible to put in words why you feel that things need to change; even your inner conversation is questioning your actions; and yet, you feel – a visceral, gut type of feeling – something is telling you that it’s time to step out of the secure, warm and safe environment and just experience … something else.

This ‘something’ is open-ended – you believe and trust with all your heart that this journey will be beneficial in some way and yet the path in which you tread is full of obstacles; barriers; above the weather is stormy and grey; you are hungry and cold; and yet your path seems to have a “Right-ness” to it.

Eventually a tiny light is seen in the distance through the fog and drizzle – finally, a sign that you’ve been proceeding upon an intended path which has been designed especially for you at this time. Before seeing the light, you began to question and re-question each of your core beliefs, but although differing levels of panic have been experienced upon the path, you had no choice but to carry on. Going back – retracing your steps along the path – became less and less viable the further you went on.

It can take a relatively long period of time to finally come to the conclusion that taking that journey, at that moment in time, was not only significant but also seen to be worthy of the pain and exclusion felt. These revelations build character; offer needed contrast; and provides a stable footing or foundation for the next path or paths forward.

Spiritually speaking, living a life – full to the brim of quiet desperation – is not what we are here for. The road to enlightenment – making courageous and intuitive decisions – is lined with deep pot-holes; dark and dangerous woodlands; major diversions and dead-ends; seemingly never ending roads and streets; traversing over rugged mountains; and trekking down through deep valleys. Giving up or turning back is no longer an option – the only ‘true’ way is forward and upwards until you finally arrive at the top of the mountain where you are greeted with a wonderful clear, blue sky; a serenity which makes your heart sing; and you are bathed in wonderful, warm sunlight – which is your truth.

 “Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” Rumi

Bringing 2011 to a Serene Close

Life Coach Antony Birks Blog

A Life Coach Antony Birks Blog – Bringing 2011 to a Serene Close.

As 2011 draws to a close and the excitement of 2012 is fast approaching, spend some time to give thanks for the experiences and events that you’ve experienced over the year.

Even if you believe that perhaps life has dealt you an unexpected blow this year – know that soon, very soon in fact, you will realise that there probably is a really good reason why those events happened.

Forgive those who have crossed you in any way – for it is only through the act of  forgiveness that you can move onwards and upwards – setting yourself free from the negativity of others.

Look back at old photos from last January and relish those wonderful moments. Smile at the people who have brought joy and happiness to you over the last year.

Take some time to thank the people who served you – especially if they are genuinely nice people. The person behind the counter at the post office; the cashier at your local bank; your favourite waiter or waitress; the sales assistant who greets you with a smile each time; your favourite hairdresser or stylist; and the greet each person who knocks on your door with a smile.

If you have experienced “lack” of any kind in 2011 then know that this “lack” is perhaps showing you the contrast of what is to come in 2012. Spend some time in making your own vision board – because knowing exactly what you would like to have in your life will make it more likely happen in the future.

“Have faith and patience; Love yourself; Enjoy your own company; and Pamper yourself.”* – coachantony (2011)

* – extract taken from Life Coach Antony Birks’ book: One Hundred and One Daily Challenges and Affirmations: Helping to find inner peace and happiness in daily life.

Acceptable Levels of Stigma and Vulnerability

Many of us have been brought up to deal with what life throws at us,  alone – not asking or expecting the help of others. Perhaps it is the fear of being indebted to others … who knows? Or the embarrassment of feeling less than?

Similarly, certain parts of our upbringing – feelings of sadness or depression and powerlessness – are emotions where we have been told to just “deal” with the pain or “pull ourselves together.” There still remains a huge stigma about asking for help – showing our vulnerability – by admitting that we are, in fact, mere human and thus fallible.

lone ranger

Over the years and in many conversations with my clients, I’ve pointed out that it is indeed possible to go it alone – like the Lone Ranger – and fight the good fight – dealing with those painful situations and circumstances. However, even the Lone Ranger had Tonto and it really isn’t necessary to “go it alone” any more. Why spend time – days, weeks, months or even years – working on something, when in your heart you would much prefer to be doing something that you are actually good at or passionate about?

There are scales or levels of stigma about asking for help. They range from relatively ‘low’ stigma such as going to a doctor or dentist for treatment or slightly more stigmatised if going to see an alternative therapist, such as an osteopath or a homoeopath. We have little or no problem about asking an accountant to ‘help us’ with doing our tax returns. On another level, we are very willing to let some stranger into our home to fix something that has broken down – be it a washing machine or television. Rising a little higher on the stigma scale is for men to ask a stranger for directions whilst driving in an unfamiliar town or asking to borrow something from a neighbour.

Having psychological problems and using the services of a therapist is still considered to be stigmatised in Europe (less so in the US and Canada – in fact in the US it’s still quite fashionable to boast about your therapist).

Having a life coach – someone to help you get things done – quicker, smarter and very forward-looking – is for many a daunting experience. Those who have little or no experience of the benefits of such “help” are frightened of the unknown and continue to do things the ‘good old way’ – even though doing it that way hasn’t much helped over the years.

Working with a great life coach can be a liberating experience. Understanding that having someone to truly listen and to help you plan what you actually need for this moment in time – can save many fearful hours of indecision, frustration and in-action.

This interaction can be just for a few sessions – for example, dealing with a specific project. Often, once trust has been built up, the client begins to look at other parts of his or her life and allows the life coach to assist him or her in creating a new way of looking at relationships, career, health, wealth – in fact, any area of the client’s life.

If you feel like being less of a Lone Ranger and fighting the “good fight” alone – then perhaps working with a good life coach might be just right for you. Each life coach is different – through his or her own uniqueness and life’s journey. You will find many life coaches available through: Our Coaches – you will find me, Coach Antony, on page 2.

If you would like to work with me regarding this or any other topics mentioned – I still have a few openings from October and you can contact me directly via email: info@coachantony.com.

Paper Tigers – Understanding Fear

Science explains that we only have two fears when we are born … the fear of loud noises and the fear of falling – both incredibly useful for surviving our early years. However, if this is true, then all our other fears have been learned over time from significant others and/or the environment in which we live. And yet our fears – the fears we experience on a daily basis – are not “real” in the sense that, if they were, we should be able to gather them all together in a plastic bag and deposit them somewhere else … anywhere, in fact, as long as we don’t have to deal with, or confront them … just now.

As a life coach I work with many people who have let their emotions – mostly fears and anxieties – hold them back from living a life of true passion – for example, a fulfilling relationship or a new exciting career. I see it as my vocation, as an intuitive life coach, to question the reality of those emotions that are brought to each session and to get the client to take brave, “sneak peeks” at those things that they are most afraid of. This allows the client – in the security of our trusted relationship – to reconsider an “alternative” to something that perhaps has been haunting them.

That intuitive feeling we have sometimes regarding a person who we have just met or a pending action or event can at times guide us but it’s important to realise whether that voice is coming from a learned response of doing something new – equating fear with this new action or if there is a real “danger” of something which will harm us now or in the future.

And there lays the underlying problem … deciphering the validity of the messages we are picking up from our inner voice. There really is no concrete answer to this question … and, as with most other things in life, there are no guarantees. This “rightness” comes through inner self-work and may take many years to finally master and use efficiently.

A client friend of mine was explaining that he was about to lose his house because of financial and health circumstances. In fact the house was mortgaged … so the reality meant that the house didn’t actually belong to them. I knew that he had in the past lived in rented accommodation and so returning to that type of living would be possible again – even if it be for a short while, whilst he and his family found their feet anew. This fear was real for him … the fear of loss and even bringing up questions of existence and personal survival.

Returning to the notion of our intuitive or gut feelings … sometimes we are forced or coerced to face our fears – hopefully in the company of someone we trust – and we realise that, in fact, there is really no need to panic or spend every waking hour planning for a detailed rescue bid. Perhaps it is only the circumstance or the world/universe rebalancing the nature order of things.

My challenge for you … the next time you are feeling fear about some future event in your life, consider if this gigantic, fearful, ferocious tiger might just simply be a paper tiger. Decide if the fear you are feeling falls into the intuitive category or if it is just that you need to deal with some new circumstance … and grow.

For further information regarding fear … I recommend the classic – Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, by Susan Jeffers.

If you would like to work with Coach Antony regarding this or any other topic, please be sure to contact me for a free complimentary session.

“One Hundred and One Daily Challenges and Affirmations”.

Please visit Amazon.com and view my new paperback just released:


“One Hundred and One Daily Challenges and Affirmations”.

“One Hundred and One Daily Challenges and Affirmations”.

Please visit your Kindle Store and view my new Kindle title:

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“One Hundred and One Daily Challenges and Affirmations”.

Challenge No.: 10 ( Daily Walks in Nature )

“I take daily walks in nature to counteract occasional negativity.”

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Challenge No.10:
How do you drown out the hurt and pain of life? Watch TV? Food? Alcohol? Facebook? Online Games? Shopping?
Write down a few positive things to counteract that negativity,
ie: going for a walk in nature or writing down your thoughts and feelings. #coachantony

Friday at 16:22 · Like ·

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A Coach Antony Video Affirmation ( Daily walks in Nature ).
“I take daily walks in nature to counteract occasional negativity.” #coachantony

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‎”I take daily walks in nature to counteract occasional negativity.” #coachantony
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A Coach AnTony audio, visual and book recommendation.

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Expand the description and view the text of the steps for this how-to video.
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A Coach AnTony audio, visual and book recommendation.
7 Weeks to Safe Social Drinking: How to Effectively Moderate Your Alcohol Intake by Donna J. Cornett.

www.amazon.com

Based on the revolutionary Drink/Link Moderate Drinking Program, this book teaches drinkers to modify their drinking habits, reduce alcohol consumption and prevent alcoholism on their own at home – no meetings, belief in a higher power or professional help are required! First, you learn f…
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Testimonial

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- Nicole
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